(Ginger is running around playing with Hank. He is trying to hit Hank with a ball.)
(Ginger throws the ball at Hank but misses.)
Hank: (laughs) Missed again, noodle-arm!
(Tom and Ben are working on an invention.)
Ben: Can you guys keep it down?
Tom: Yeah, we’re trying to finish Biceptor, our arm-wrestling robot.
Hank: Sorry. We’re playing slingshot tag, and Ginger is “it.”
Ginger: I'm throwing it now!
(Ginger throws the ball but misses again.)
Hank: Ooh, you almost got me there, shortstack! He didn’t really almost get me. I’m teasing him. Wink.
Ginger: Hank, if you’re trying to whisper, you can’t just put your hand near your mouth. You actually have to lower your voice, (whispers) like this.
Hank: Aww, how adorable. Little fella doesn’t even understand how to whi-
(Hank is hit by a watermelon from Ginger's launcher. He falls down.)
Ginger: (laughs) You’re “it.” (blows launcher)
(Theme song plays)
(Hank lies down on the desk woozy.)
Angela: Hank, Hank! Wake up!
Hank: I was having a dream that we were living in a 3D cartoon...
Angela: Ha, imagine us living in a cartoon.
Hank: Whew! Whoa!
(Hank slips and falls on the table, landing on the invention.)
Hank: Whoopsie!
Ben: Hank!
Hank: Sorry. I'll put that right ther-
(Hank is hit by the invention.)
Tom: Oh! (holds invention)
Hank: Okay, I see what I did, I see what I did.
Tom: No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
(Hank trips and falls.)
(The desk is clear, revealing it is a ping-pong table.)
Ginger: Finally, we can play some ping-pong! I’m first! (holds paddle)
Tom: No way! Ping-pong is forbidden in this garage.
Ginger: Aw!
Tom: This table has a long and troubled history...
Hank: Yeah. You’re probably too young to remember, little guy.
Tom: Well, I remember. I remember...like it was yesterday...
(The friends all stand together, waiting for a flashback.)
Ben: And, uh...
Hank: Should something be happening?
Tom: Shh.
Ben: We're waiting for a flashback.
Hank: Oh.
Tom: (clears throat) Yesterday.
(Three years earlier...)
(Tom is seen jumping with a pogo stick. Ben is in the kitchen.)
Ben: Can you please stop that? We need to finish the watermelon launcher.
Tom: Hey, Ben, you think I could pogo over the moon?
Ben: Tom, Tom, focus!
Tom: Yeah, woo!
Ben: Launching watermelons across football fields is serious business.
Tom: Pff, are you even listening to yourself?
Ben: If we don’t win the watermelon-launching contest and the cash prize that comes with it, we’ll have to shut down the company.
Tom: Lighten up, man! You’re stressing yourself out. You need to relax and have a little fun. That’s why I got us a...
(Angela and Hank come in carrying a ping pong table.)
Hank: ...ping-pong table!
(Hank has an ice cream cone in one hand and he holds the table in the other. Angela struggles to lift the table.)
Angela: Hey, Hank, you think maybe you could use two hands?
Hank: Angela, then where would I put my ice cream cone? On my head?
(Hank puts his ice cream cone on his head. The scoops come out of the cone.)
Angela: Good point.
(Hank finds his cone empty.)
(Scene cuts. The ping-pong table is set-up.)
Tom: Okay, let's go. (tosses paddle to Ben)
Ben: Huh...
Tom: Ben, you're up first. (tosses ball to Ben)
Ben: Absolutely not. We need to work.
Tom: Oh, come on, Ben. You know how the song goes. (sings) Physical activity increases productivity and da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da! Poing!
Ben: Pff, who says that?
Tom: Everyone! Scientists, brain experts, ping-pong-ologists...
Ben: I don't know.
(Scene cuts. Tom and Ben play ping-pong.)
Ben: This... is... awesome!
Tom: Told you! It’s nice to see you finally relax-
(Ben slams the ball at Tom, who misses.)
Tom: Oh my...! What?!
Ben: Game.
Tom: Okay, well now that we’ve had a little fun, we can all get back to work on the watermelon launcher.
(Angela and Hank enter. )
Angela: My turn!
Hank: Ooh, I’ll play Angela!
Ben: Actually, the official rule of the garage is “winner stays on,” so you have to play me.
Tom: Come on, Ben. We have to get back to work. (imitates Ben) “If we don’t win the contest and the cash prize that comes with it, we’ll have to shut down the company.” That was you, right? I mean, that was a spot-on impression of you.
Ben: “Winner stays on” is the most sacred rule in the unofficial ping-pong rule book, and I refuse to break it!
Tom: What have I done?
Ben: Step up, junior!
Angela: Ben!
Hank: (takes paddle from Angela, starts playing) Thank you. Okay!
(The game starts, but Ben easily defeats Hank, who is hit by the ball and falls to the ground.)
Hank: Woah.
Ben: Yeah!
(A montage is shown of Ben playing ping-pong, continually defeating his opponents.)
Angela: (sings)
Ever since I was a young girl, I thought my game was strong,
but then I met a master, and oh, baby, I was wrong.
If you have to play him, you won’t be out there long,
That nerdy tech geek... sure plays a mean ping-pong!
He’s a ping-pong wizard, and he’s living in our midst!
A ping-pong wizard actually... actually exists.
(Ben hits the ball hard, which bursts through Angela's guitar.)
(Scene cuts to the living room.)
Tom: Ah, Ben is unstoppable. If someone doesn’t beat him in ping-pong and soon, we’re never going to finish our watermelon launcher in time.
Hank: This is just like the episode of Alpha Squadron Explosion Go! where Hitoshi has to battle the two-headed samurai ghost. (pretends swordfighting)
Tom: You know, sometimes I think you make up these TV shows.
Hank: (gasps) That sounds like something a samurai ghost would say. Where are you hiding your laser sword, Tom-san?
Angela: Wait, I know someone who can beat Ben.
Tom: You don’t mean...
Hank: Hitoshi?
Angela: What? No, Hank. I mean someone who lives right by us...?
Hank: Hm...
Angela: Someone who’s a lord of sorts... a lord...?
(Hank thinks.)
Angela: ...of the land?
Hank: Uh...
Angela: I’m talking about the Landlord! (hits Tom)
(Tom stands up startled.)
Hank: The Landlord? I don’t know. I mean, look at us. We’re mere land-commoners.
Angela: Relax, I'll ask him. He’s not my landlord.
(Scene cuts to the Landlord's house. Angela knocks on the door. The Landlord answers.)
Angela: Hi, Tom’s landlord.
Landlord: Oh... it’s you.
Hank: Greetings, fair and noble Landlord. Our friend, Angela hath a request of thee.
(The Landlord slams the door.)
Tom: Okay, we tried.
Angela: Oh come on, we can’t give up yet. (knocks, in peephole) Hey, listen. We need your help! We know you’re a former ping-pong champion!
Landlord: (opens door) You stumbled on my little secret, huh? But how?
Tom: Well, the door knocker is shaped like a ping-pong paddle.
Landlord: (sees knocker) Oh, right, yes.
Hank: Oh! And also, there’s a sign in the driveway that says, “parking reserved for ping-pong champions.”
Landlord: Okay, fine-fine-fine, yes.
Angela: The giant pile of ping-pong trophies in your yard.
Tom: Also, you’re holding a ping-pong paddle-
(The Landlord slams the door, then briefly reopens it.)
Landlord: My pong-ping days are over. (slams door)
Tom: Please. Look, we wouldn’t ask unless it was really important.
(Landlord opens the door.)
Tom: Someone must defeat Ben so we can get back to work on our watermelon launcher.
Landlord: Enough! Go away! (slams door)
Angela: Boy! He sure loves slamming that door.
(Scene cuts back to the garage. There is a large crowd watching Ben play.)
Tom: Ben! What the heck’s going on?
Ben: Get out of here, Tom. I've told you before- this is no place for you!
Tom: I can’t believe this! Not only are you sacrificing the future of our company for your ping-pong obsession, but now you’ve filled our garage with pong-scum?!
(Everyone in the garage gasps.)
Tom: Oh, you know it's true.
Ben: Winner stays on! That’s the rule! You had your chance to beat me and you failed! So I, the winner, stay on.
(The Landlord enters the garage with a paddle.)
Landlord: This is my garage, and I won’t have it filled with low-life pong-ping hustlers.
Ben: Ohh, so, the rumors are true. Looks like you’re ready for your reckoning, old man.
Landlord: Oh, I’m ready... to knock you off your pong-estal!
Ben: On pong!
(Landlord and Ben start the first match.)
Landlord: The spin... first the spin.
(The ball spins in the air.)
Landlord: There we go.
(Ben struggles to keep hitting the ball.)
(Ben eventually misses the ball.)
Landlord: So it all comes down to this. Match point.
Ben: Bring it!
Landlord: Up your face! (serves ball)
(After several hits, Ben misses the ball and loses.)
Landlord: Yes! Champion!
Ben: Wha-! Bu- bu- (stutters)
Tom: You did it! I knew you could do it! King-pong!
Landlord: (chuckles) Yes. Don’t touch me. (leaves)
Tom: (to crowd) All right, show's over. Come on, you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. Shoo! Shoo, scum! Get out of here!
(The crowd leaves the garage.)
(Scene cuts to the taxi. Ben sits inside sadly.)
Tom: Ah... well, good game, Ben.
Ben: (startled) Wha- what happened? What time is it?
Hank: 10:30.
Ben: Ah, phew. If we work all night, we can still finish the watermelon launcher.
Tom: Now you’re talkin'!
(End of flashback. Scene cuts back to present day.)
Tom: And that, Ginger, is why this ping-pong table is now used exclusively as a desk.
Ginger: What happened with the watermelon launch?
Ben: We won, of course.
Tom: Using the rocket-powered slingshot you’re holding now...
Ginger: Wow!
(Ginger fires the launcher at Hank, who falls.)
Ginger: Whoa!
Hank: Ginger!
Ginger: Sorry, Hank, not sorry.
(Scene cuts. Tom finishes his invention.)
Tom: Since that day, we vowed to focus on work and not let anything distract us.
Ben: That reminds me, we have to finish Biceptor. The fate of our company rests on winning the Robo-lympics.
Mailman: (knocks door, enters) Foosball Express! I’ve got a delivery. It’s a foosball table.
Angela: Yeah, thanks. We got that when you said, “Foosball Express.”
Tom: We didn’t order a foosball table.
Mailman: Well, I’m not haulin' this thing back to the warehouse. I mean, what do I look like, some kind of delivery man?
Angela: Yeah, you do.
Mailman: Whatever you say, lady. (chuckles) Cuckoo-cuckoo! (leaves)
Tom: What are we supposed to do with the foosball table? I mean, the Robo-lympics start in eight hours. We can’t waste time playing-
Ben: Game on.
(Ben is wearing a headband and gloves.)
Tom: Oh, great!
Hank: I don’t know how to solve this problem.
Landlord: (enters) But I do.
(Ben gulps.)
(Credits roll)